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** Here be spoilers **<br /><br />Recently released from jail, Croker (Caine) takes a job from an old recently killed friend. He visits a jailed but not hindered crime lord and assembles a gang. The goal is a big shipment of gold delivered in Torino. And how are they going to do this? By creating the mother of all traffic jams.<br /><br />Now, maybe I did this the wrong way around. I saw the remake (of 2003) and thought it to be very good. Naturally I wanted to see the original, as the original usually is better than sequels, prequels and remakes. Now, that may have been my error, as the original didn't come close to living up to my expectations. If you should watch only one Italian Job, choose the new one.<br /><br />Now why do I think that? First, in my opinion this is a movie about a heist. The thrill is to see a fantastic plan take form and then see it pulled of, usually with some complications coming along the way. Now this movie started out good, with the presentation of the goal of the job, the gold. But then it just went silly. The preparations were outright dull, with the exception of some silly attempts to be funny. Then the actual heist went off without the slightest complication nor suspense, they just did it. Big disappointment.<br /><br />Then there are a lot of very disturbing plot holes, unmotivated scenes and just annoying facts. I could give a lot of examples, but will make do with a few. Not being a criminal myself, I can't be sure, but the gang seemed very unprofessional, being cranky like babies without enough sleep. Now that didn't matter as the police were as stupid as could be. They seemed to give up just because the criminals closed a door. And they seemed not aware of how many exits (that you could drive a car out of) a public church had. In addition they didn't seem to get suspicious when a known mafia-boss trailed the shipment of gold by two meters. And were did the mafia go then, they just vanished from the plot.<br /><br />Then there is the fabled car-chase. Being a big part of the movie it takes place in most places a car can be able to drive, except roads (yeah I know, there are some). The police just manage to tag one police car after the three minis, and maybe a motorcycle. And this is always so, whatever stunts the minis do to avoid the police, there miraculously is always one and only one police car behind them. That with the exception when they get to the big motorway and load the minis into the bus. Then there is absolutely no traffic at all, not even going the other direction! (And why did they throw of the tracks they used loading the minis clearly exposing how they try to escape). So, there is never any suspense that they should get caught. And while pretty spectacular, why did they drive on the roof of the arena? I guessed it was a way for the movie to show off a bit, but it was completely over-shadowed by the stupidness of it. And why did they throw the minis off clearly telling everyone which route they tried to escape. And how did the crime lord get the news that they stole the gold while they were still making their get-away (cellphone?)? And finally, there is the ending (completely unnecessary had the gang had an ounce of competence), braking most physical laws there is, that we don't get to see the end of. They should have died you know...<br /><br />So. A surprisingly weak movie. See the new one!<br /><br />3/10 |