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Yes, I'm aware that that hilarious MST3K line was from "Final Justice" and not "The Final Sacrifice", but it works very well here too. This is mind-bogglingly bad, with the now-famous Christian Malcolm and Co. hamming it up in the lead roles.<br /><br />Actually, I don't think Malcolm (or "Zap Rosdower") is that horrible. He ain't no action hero, though. He's fairly ugly and outta shape, so I don't think he could have a big career ahead of him. But in all fairness, Malcolm (especially since, save a bit role and a made-for-TV production, he has no acting experience whatsoever - at least in film) is okay. He's certainly not Henry Fonda, but he's not as horrible as, say, Reb Brown or other famous MST3K actors . . .<br /><br />. . . like Bruce J. Mitchell, or Troy MacGregor. The one user who commented on this movie that called Troy "Kid Dogteeth" is hilarious and true at the same time; he looks like a freakin' Doberman at several points in the movie. He's at least twenty-five, but he sounds like an eleven-year old Frankie Muniz. As one of the guys (forget which) suggested: "Maybe he's the Tin Drum kid?"<br /><br />Shane Marceau (no relation to the very sexy Sophie, I'm sure/hope), is "Garth Vader", as the 'Bots put it. He sounds like he "Has a cold", to quote riffing from "Invasion of the Neptune Men", and is not threatening at all. I think the way he says "Zap Rosdower" as he is about to kill him is hilarious. How exactly did he die again?<br /><br />Ron Anderson appears as the Muppet-come-to-life, Michael Pipper; his introductory scene (esp. when Troy says "Food!") and him threatening to blow Troy and Zap's brains out are hilarious.<br /><br />There are many mind-boggling scenes: (spoilers ahead) Troy outruns a car on a ten-speed (later to be one-upped by the overweight, out of shape Rosdower nearly outrunning another car ON FOOT!)? Zap gets his car moving by dumping alcohol on the engine? Zap shoots in between two cult members which are standing only feet away from? Zap just happens to find a conviently placed grappling hook just as Sartoris rips his torch away? Sartoris' death???<br /><br />Well, MST3K had a hell of a lot of fun with this, though the host segments coulda been better (except the "Canada Bashing" song and Mike the Prospector).<br /><br />Two stars for "Quest For The Lost City"; ten for the MST3K riffing on it. |