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Okay; I'm not a director; I'm not a producer and I may not be a good actor, even, but I could have done everything on this movie better(including sweeping the sets afterwards)!<br /><br />R.O.T.O.R. seems caught in a cultural time warp; see, it's set in the "not-too-distant-future", but was made in 1989, while all the actors look like they're livin' like it's 1979 (even feathered hair makes a comeback! AAAGHH!!); and the technological advancements still haven't gone beyond 5 1/4" floppies.<br /><br />And speaking of floppy, the story's pretty floppy, too. Seems an android created to fight crime (gee, what an original idea - someone call Paul Verhoeven...) gets dis-combobulated and goes around shooting everyone in sight. Meantime, our hero of the movie hunts him down. Our hero is a real cowboy, pardner, right down to the leather elbow pads on his jacket (does ANYONE wear those anymore? Oh well...).<br /><br />It looks like the future is mostly made up of malls, small rooms, quaint restaurants, one other police robot that someone must have got as a Heathkit do-it-yourself jobbie and BADLY stop-motion animated R.O.T.O.R.s. But the SOUNDTRACK! Someone's been spending a little too much time around the synthesizer, ya think?<br /><br />The dialogue, when not delivered with brain-numbing monotonality, is just too stupid for words. Indeed, I was so zonked out by the stupidity of it all, I'm lucky my brain hasn't blotted out this experience all together.<br /><br />It's not just that "R.O.T.O.R." is merely bad, mind you; it's dumb. Dumb in a harmful way. "Touching the electric fence TWICE" dumb. "Sticking your hand down a garbage disposal" dumb. SO dumb that it's no wonder you've heard nothing about any of the people involved in it since. <br /><br />In closing, let me just say that if any of the people who made "R.O.T.O.R." happen to read this, let me ask you: did you clear this with the "RoboCop" people before making it?<br /><br />No stars. Bottom of the barrel is still too high to reach for "R.O.T.O.R." |