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1.8 KiB
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1 line
1.8 KiB
Plaintext
The Cruise-man goes to Octane Cool! See him show off his 'martial arts abilities'! See him perform the most wicked stunts ever done by amateur stunt men! See the Cruise-Control Motorcycle Road Runner's Chase! See the Cool Cruise-man win High Points on the Score Board! <br /><br />This is little more than a shoddy imitation of The Matrix or another boring, cliche-ridden movie episode of James Bond, but with a poorer story line. What story line you say? There wasn't one, actually.<br /><br />WARNING! SPOILER ALERT!<br /><br />Complete suspense of disbelief is an absolute necessity in order for one to sit through this flick without laughing aloud, or groaning at all the ridiculous stunts Tom Cruise performs.<br /><br />The 80 m.p.h 'Shoes-On-Asphalt-Slide' is probably the best (and worst!) phony stunt I have ever seen! Next time I ride my moped I'll hop off and slide down the street alongside of it wearing my jandals while shooting a pea shooter at bulls eye targets on passing lamposts.<br /><br />Tom fighting??? He may be able to act, but he simply can't fight. His martial arts looked like the way I would do martial arts. And I'm fairly hopeless! To make this even worse (or funnier!) they show Tom's fights in slow-mo! <br /><br />Other memorable moments: The slow-mo 80 m.p.h chest slap and waves crashing on beach during the (anti) climatic fight (most of it also in slow-mo). Tom's flying-shoe kicks and clumsily-performed cartwheels in the sand. Tom's shoes-sand-gun-hand manouver (all at once). His Hair. His sun glasses. Priceless!!! <br /><br />This whole awful flick was produced by Tom so that simply makes this a 'Cruise-Mobile'. Admittedly I missed half of this 'movie' on video. I watched the Second Half, and found it to be ridiculous to the point of hilarious. <br /><br />CONCLUSION? Watch only if you wish to learn how to become a famous actor's stunt double. |