Sherlock Bones is the heartwarming tale of a small boy, his potentially dangerous father, his veterinarian love interest (who wears a lab coat in the one scene of her working, for the next three scenes, and then never again in the entire movie), her incredibly badly acted miscreant child, a talking dog, and an entire cast and crew of people who make a series of misjudged decisions after another.

Sherlock Bones is bad. Very, very bad. It is not the sort of bad of the Pearl Harbor breed of terribleness however, where one is left spinning in an ocean of the terrible wondering when the sheer horror will end. No, Sherlock Bones is the kind of hilarious bad that provokes the kind of laughter that physically stops you breathing at the inane stupidity of what you are watching. It is a special thing when two children and their talking dog buddy need to chase down someone, so the dog somehow transports itself into the driver's seat from where it declares, apparently without irony, "Get in! I'll drive!". The hilarity of this particular moment is only increased by the dog's neckerchief and eyepatch (yes, really) and 'Scottish' accent. When told he cannot drive the dog simply responds that he is forty-seven. The hilarity of this scene was so much that we repeatedly had to rewind it to soak in the sheer brilliance of this scene as tears streamed down my face.

In short: DO watch this movie IF you and a few friends want to watch a truly terrible movie in order to riff on an artifact of 1990s horror the likes of which has never been seen. DON'T watch this movie if you expect to in anyone enjoy it on an unironic level. ESPECIALLY DON'T show this movie to your kids if you don't want them to grow up to hate you.